Hi Reader

This can be a controversial statement to make in our mission-driven and social-impact world, and I stand by it.

I am doing as much as I can, and I will not feel guilty that I'm not doing more.

Let's dig into this...

What you can expect in today's issue:

The dangerous path of working with guilt
3 ways you can release the narrative of guilt
RK Empathy + RK Impact Updates :)

12 years ago, I was working as a clinical therapist doing home-based counseling in NYC.

And on a particular Friday afternoon, my last client, opens her fridge and freezer, showing me what she has left to feed her kids,

2 cans of spam, 3 hot dogs, 3 cans of soup

She was excited that they were invited to 3 birthday parties because it would cover an additional 3 meals over the weekend.

Take a deep breath, take her grocery shopping, and make sure she doesn't have to rely on the birthdays to feed her family.

Then...

I left this world to hurry home because my roommate who worked at a large consulting firm, asked me to join for their annual holiday party.

I walk into a room full of open bars and an insane amount of food that would just go to waste.

Watching people take one bite and throw the rest into the garbage.

Guilt overcame me. The duality of the world was overwhelming. Less than 4 miles apart, two completely different realities existed.

I left shortly, I felt guilty for participating in a world of abundance when a world of scarcity existed right outside.

That guilt influenced how I decided to participate in my own life. It's that all-or-nothing thinking that consumed me (ironic for a therapist, lol)

If someone needs my help, I will always say yes, even at the sacrifice of myself. How can I enjoy a nice vacation, when my clients aren't sure if they'll have the money for the subway? How can I enjoy a nice dinner, when my clients aren't sure where their next one will come from?

You can imagine what happened next...

I was burnt out. My health took a nose dive. I was unhappy with how much I was doing and yet it felt like there was never enough done. I started becoming angry.

I was harming any forward movement because I was consistently angry that not enough people cared about the same issues- and all that did was create more division.

But in actuality, I was angry because I took on too much, more than I could handle, I had no boundaries, and I became completely consumed. And the resentment, well that was because others did have healthy boundaries.

This was a projection of self-created challenges.

Guilt keeps you in a state of fight or flight, in crisis mode. This means you are focused more on soothing your internal state, zapping all of your emotional energy with a state of self-consumption.

It clicked...and I realized I was doing nobody a favor by burning myself out, affecting my capacity to heal and help.

This work that you and I are doing, it's a marathon. The Truth is, as long as humans have existed and continue to exist, there will always be challenges to justice.

So if I want to be impactful in my lifetime, it is my responsibility to release guilt and the mental constraints that prevent me from actually contributing to effective impact.

And releasing guilt means...

Understanding that the work does not rest only on your shoulders.
Accepting that progress happens as a community, it is shared.
Focusing our contribution to the work by activating our strengths

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because the sooner you release guilt about how much you're doing, you'll have the energy to

Working from your Strengths-

You cannot be everything to everyone. You will make things more challenging and overwhelming.

Set healthier boundaries -

She's able to be the breadwinner, go on multiple vacations, and buy a home where the family can grow up.

Connect with Complementary Partners

She's able to be the breadwinner, go on multiple vacations, and buy a home where the family can grow up.

What's Happening in RKE Land:

All-Inclusive Purpose Driven Retreat is officially OPEN!
- Join like-minded changemakers and purpose-driven founders to dive deep into internal empowerment transformations for yourself and impact visioning and strategic work.
- The retreat is scheduled for February 26th to March 1st
Upcoming Speaking in September
- In Chicago: Speaking at a nonprofit organization to the senior leadership team on getting curious by activating empathy and transforming the culture of the organization
- In DC: The Unconference: An engagement for C-Suite Executive Women Leaders who are reclaiming their story and unapologetically standing in their confidence!
Hosting Changemaker Dinners in Chicago, DC, NYC, and LA!
- The Changemaker Dinners are traveling! We're heading to
  - Chicago on Sep 16th and DC Sept 17th (Fully Booked)
  - NYC on Oct 6th and Boston on Oct 9th (Fully Booked)
  - Los Angeles in November (Invite list will go out soon!)

Join an intimate dinner if you're based in one of these cities! It's an invite-only experience for 5 to 8 guests at the table who share a like-minded passion for driving impact further. We have compelling conversations, connect as people first, and bridge the gap between abstract ideas and real actions.

Submit your information and once we schedule a dinner in your city, we'll invite you! If you don't see your city, please submit to request it, and we'll add it to our growing list :)

RK Impact

The last few months the work with RK Impact stalled. Transparently, we needed to reassess the logistics and ensuring we have the right staff and resources to bring this vision to life accurately. And that's what we're actively working on now :)