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Hi Reader

Payal, you live an unnatural life. Your life is unnatural because you don't have kids or are married. This isn't natural.

Insert: Deep exhale, smile, and internally say, "Payal, practice what you preach, don't lose your sh**." Pause and get curious...and thats what I did.

What you can expect in today's issue:

• A story about fear, unfamiliarity, and projected judgment
• A reflection on why we question what we don’t understand
• A reframe that opens up how you relate to difference in your own life

“Payal, you live an unnatural life.”

That’s what she said to me, casually, over dinner.
She didn’t say it to be cruel. But she did say it with certainty.

She was referring to the fact that I’m not married. I don’t have children.
And I’m not in any rush to change that.

To her, this was unusual, and it makes sense why

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She hadn’t been around people who chose this path. She grew up in a traditional home and lived a very conventional life—married, kids, dog, and a house—and had strict gender roles in her home that she never questioned or cared to expand her views on. Now, expanding your views doesn't mean you have to adopt them; it simply means you know that there are other ways to exist that also provide purpose, fulfillment, and meaning.

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And when she asked, “But how do your friends feel having you around for holidays, knowing you're single?” - What she really meant was: I don’t know how to understand this.

We often think we’re asking questions to understand, but many of us ask to confirm what we already believe. And if the answer doesn’t match, we label it “wrong,” “confusing,” or “unnatural.”

Well, here's the thing-

Curiosity without compassion becomes interrogation.
And interrogation is not a bridge—it’s a barrier.

When you ask from a place of fear, your words carry judgment.
When you assume you know what’s “normal,” your questions come with a tone.
And that tone—however unintentional—closes the door you were hoping to open.

I’ve come to understand that what unsettles people isn’t your life.
​It’s what your life asks them to question about their own.

What if I’d always wanted marriage and children?
What if I never wanted either?
What if I’ve held both desires in the same hand, and still moved forward?

They didn’t ask. They didn't become curious about my life or how I ended up there.
Because what they wanted wasn’t clarity, it was validation to their beliefs.

And sometimes, difference feels like a threat to that comfort.
This wasn’t about me at all.

It was about her daughter—19 years old—who had recently started asking:
Why get married? Why have kids? What if you never got married, what would your life look like?

First of all, kudos to a 19-year-old being so thoughtful and intentional about their life. That's one smart kid who will always make intelligent decisions because she'll have thought them through.

Suddenly, I wasn’t just me. I was a mirror and a living example of the future her daughter was imagining. It was a reality, and she needed to understand it, to process what her daughter was inviting her to reconsider.

We act like there’s a formula for a valid life.
But there never was.

No two people live the same life.​
Some marry young.
Some marry late.
Some never marry.
Some yearn for children but never get to have them.
Some raise entire communities, choosing to care for hundreds of kids in orphanages instead of having one.
Some carry grief quietly.
Some leave marriages.
Some live in one city forever.
Others rebuild every few years.

The difference isn’t dangerous.
It’s data.
It’s perspective.
And when we sit with it, rather than run from it, we expand, not shrink.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because we’ve all been on both sides.
We’ve all asked the awkward question without realizing its weight.
And we’ve all been the person whose life didn’t fit someone else’s formula.

We say we want understanding, but too often, we approach people hoping to find reassurance. We want our worldview confirmed, not challenged.

But what if the challenge is the gift?

When someone lives differently from you, pause.
Get curious.
Ask questions that don’t control, but connect.
Let their life widen your lens, not reinforce your limits.

So ask yourself and sit with these questions:

• What beliefs about “a valid life” have you inherited, but never questioned?
• Where do you respond to unfamiliarity with quiet judgment, not intentional curiosity?
• When have you used questions as a shield, rather than an invitation?
• Who in your life lives differently from you, but might be a mirror if you chose to stay open?

What's Happening, BTS

Updates on Reframing Perspectives Podcast:

Last week’s podcast with Dr. Ammara Khalid hit close to home. We explored The Psychology of Diaspora and what it means to carry generational trauma from events like the Partition of India and Pakistan. At its core, the conversation revealed something bigger: our deep need for belonging—and the fear that keeps us from seeking it. Tune into this episode here. ​

• And friends, if you're enjoying these episodes, the biggest favor I can ask you is to
  • Share them with your friends and family,
  • Subscribe to the podcast, and leave reviews!

As a new podcaster, each of these things helps tremendously in making sure I deliver better episodes!

Disruptive Empathy Experiences

Earlier this year, our exciting launch with a Wisconsin-based non-profit suddenly paused. Sadly, many non-profits this year dealt with chaos and uncertainty, as did this organization. Thankfully, they're back on track, and our launch, even though delayed, will resume in 2026.

While that design is taking its time, I'm excited to announce a partnership with another mission-driven organization. Through Disruptive Empathy Experiences, we'll be designing a transformational immersive experience for an organization committed to transforming the lives of at-risk youth, from taking steps that could lead them into the prison system to choosing a life that builds success.

This work is deeply personal for me. When I share the stories with you, I commit to shaping how people feel about what it’s like to sit with difference, not run from it.

​Learn more here if you work at a mission-driven organization or are a changemaker who understands movements are born when a mission becomes personal.

Our Fall Season Plans

And I'm excited to bring a few exciting experiences to life this fall.

• Changemaker Dinners + Immersion Experiences. We carefully bring 8 to 10 thinkers, thought leaders, founders, and creatives together to commune over deep conversations that build relationships with those committed to bettering the world. We're hosting them in DC, Chicago, and NYC.
  • NYC Experience: Immerse yourself in an experience that addresses: Is it gentrification or the natural evolution of neighborhoods?
  • Chicago: The Dispartiy of Education: How do we democratize education in a broken system?
  • D.C., your home is your sanctuary. It represents your ancestral heritage and the vulnerability of your relationship with yourself and your community.

If you're interested in sitting at this table, please submit your interest here. ​

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How you can work directly with Dr. Beri and the RKE Team when you're ready:

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