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Hi Reader

Are we even listening to each other or just talking at each other?

What you can expect in today's issue:

• Are we truly listening, or just waiting for our turn to speak?
• Why empathy without presence still misses the point
• One question that can reshape how you connect with others
• Behind the Scenes: Updates on what we're planning for the 2nd half of 2025!!
• A Summer Special for you!

Lately, I’ve been sitting with a question that’s hard to ignore:

Are we actually having conversations, or are we just talking at each other?

In a world full of soundbites, hot takes, and “holding space” on Instagram posts… real listening feels like it’s on the verge of extinction.

We’re more connected than ever, but somehow it feels like no one’s actually hearing each other.

This isn’t just about personal relationships.
It’s happening on a societal level and is loud right now.

Take the New York City mayoral race. I’ve been watching how people are responding to Assemblymember Zohran Mamdani, not with curiosity, not with questions, but with assumptions.

Folks are putting words in his mouth, deciding what he believes, and reacting to things he never actually said.

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It’s wild, not just because it’s inaccurate, but because it’s so familiar.

People aren’t listening to him.​
They’re listening to their fear of him, and the media capitalizes on this.
And reacting to the version of his beliefs they’ve created, not the actual ones he’s stated.

It’s a perfect example of what we do to each other all the time:​
We don’t listen to understand. We listen to categorize. To debate. To defend.
And that’s not dialogue — that’s performance.

Listening ≠ Agreeing

There was someone in a social group I was part of, a man who constantly made horrible comments. Racist. Demeaning. Cruel under the mask of “humor.

Everyone knew it. Behind his back, people would say, “God, he’s such a douche.”

But in person? Silence. He loved being the center of attention. He thought his comments made him seem bold or clever when, in reality, they were just ignorant and offensive.

And when I finally stood up and called him out? He turned his bullying onto me, subtle at first, but deliberate. And the excuses rolled in, “That’s just who he is.” “He’s insecure. He doesn’t know how to handle a strong woman standing up to him.”

Although they checked in on me and recognized what was clearly wrong in the situation, he got a pass. And I exited the group.

I’ve had conversations that weren’t conversations at all.

They looked like conversations. We were both talking, and there were even moments of eye contact. But it was clear they weren’t listening. They were performing presence.

The words “I hear you” were there, but the felt sense was missing. No pause. No breath. No curiosity.

They already had their opinion ready. Already had their counterpoint shaped.
And what was most painful wasn’t the disagreement — it was the absence of wonder.

The absence of “Tell me more.”​
The absence of “What do you mean by that?”​
The absence of “I’ve never thought about it that way.”

We’ve become so obsessed with being right, with being validated, that even when we say we’re “listening,”
We’re just prepping for our rebuttal.
And honestly? It’s exhausting.

Because the people who truly change us are the ones who know how to listen and be present with us.

I’m unpacking this more in an upcoming solo episode of Reframing Perspectives, where I explore:

• What it means to listen without needing to be right
• How unprocessed identity pain can block connection
• And the subtle ways we silence people, even when we think we’re being “empathetic”

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because we confuse listening for a race to win.

Who is going to win this conversation?!

We've lost the art of learning from listening to find common ground, possibly learning something new, and realizing there may be perspectives I was missing.

So I ask you the next time you're in a conversation, you're in the meeting room, you're with friends, I ask you to reflect on:

• When was the last time someone made you feel truly heard?
• When was the last time someone spoke, your mind didn't wander?
• When was the last time you asked, "Tell me more, I'm not sure I fully grasp what you are sharing"

What's Happening, BTS

• Ask Me Anything Summer Special (50% off the typical rate)! ​
  If you need a straight-up, no-fluff conversation that cuts through the noise and gets you some answers, this is for you. Whether it’s your business, your boundaries, or your voice, bring the real question. I’ll bring the clarity. Let's help you solve your problems and get you thinking outside the box.
  ​One session. Deep insight. Special summer rate. Book it before the moment (or the offer) passes.

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• Podcast: The latest episode of Reframing Perspectives is out and powerful! I speak to Carlos Vasquez, who spent 17 years in prison, 3 years in solitary confinement, and now he's on a mission to change the trajectory of life for kids who are at-risk inner-city. His story: parents were a doctor and a nurse, grew up playing baseball, but made one wrong choice, which altered his life forever. If you've enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe and share it with your friends! The only way the podcast will reach more people is with your help!

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• What's ahead for us: I'm so excited because I did something this year that I never did in the past 6 years of having a business... I took the turtle/sloth pace of business mapping, planning, etc. Instead of operating from a place of scarcity, I'm operating from a place of intention, and oh boy, it's been beautiful! In these upcoming 3 months, we're rebranding! As a team, we've spent much time thinking about the direction we want to take with the business, talking to customers, and trialing out some offers without publicly talking about them. First up: we're doing a photoshoot in July for this rebrand! It's been 3 years since our last photoshoot!

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How you can work directly with me when you're ready:

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